One thing young people don’t realize is the level of concern our elders have for our “modern” lifestyles. I think sometimes they take a look at us and wonder quietly how we’re going to avoid imploding. One thing that you can say about many people under 40 is they are driven, intelligent, highly ambitious, and know no limits. All those things are positives in the correct application, e.g. education, career, etc. However the same things that drive the country forward, have quite the opposite effect when applied to personal lives. Initially it did not seem to me that the “folks” were particularly concerned about the decisions we were making with our personal lives as long as you were “doing well” (Doing well- amazing degree with a good job with a house in the correct address). However I was mistaken, it would seem many are quite concerned with the “Busted by Ciku” lifestyles many have opted for as a way of life.
Well a few days ago while chatting with my moms as she gave me the low who left who for who, and who was caught with who at that joint, and the myriad of failed relationships since I’ve been away (BTW Is that gossip? Or is that preparing me not to ask awkward questions at public events?) I asked her view on the matter that most people pushing 40 just can’t seem to have a normal-but-quickly-becoming-abnormal life of settling down, doing the kids thing and building a life together and after a few moments of thought she realized that most of the people having drama were either teenagers and young adults when the soap opera Bold and Beautiful swept the country like a viral plague. We quickly recounted that the show was full of the behavior that’s becoming the norm in society today; sordid affairs, wives leaving husbands for their fathers, A woman knowing a man in married and still pursing and vice versa (Read again Wa “and vice versa!). We kinda figured that the show came in at transitional point in Kenya, socially and somehow left a particularly interesting legacy that goes beyond the unholy obsession many Kenyans have with soaps (particularly the telemundo type with bad acting and voice over work). But it would be unfair to Blame this solely on Ridge Forrester and Sally Specter (Wikipedia before y’all say something) and this theory hasn’t under gone any rigorous research, and there’s really nothing to directly connect the Bold and Beautiful to the rapid deterioration of Kenyan relationships however one has to admit there is a Bold and Beautiful feel to it. At best all of us are at least 2 relations to Kevin Bacon away from knowing some dude running around with some 20 yr old college girl while his wife is off with her boss. Fine we can decide as a society we’re going to have a casual attitude about relationships and sex but casual should never mean destructive. We should remember that those shows are Dramas (extreme at the least) emulating them is doing things “even the pagans themselves find repulsive.” Plus we get AIDS easy (#justsaying).
(Here’s where I go slightly off subject and get on a soapbox…sigh!)
One positive thing we can say about the independence generation is the selfless way they did things. Some will argue that the same things used to happen but they were undercover, but is that really a bad thing? Is it bad that a man will go to great lengths to ensure that there’s stability in the household? Is it bad that a couple can fight without waking up the neighborhood? What has happened to bare minimums? It really is sad that you look stupid if you’re shocked that so and so is cheating, playing or whatever. Worse still we’ve come up with terms to make it sound like a joke rather than really look at what we’re doing to ourselves.
Alright I’m on a soap box and some will argue that a lot of it was superficial but at least they were working towards an ideal. What ideal are we young gun the future of the so called country working to. A wife to cheat on and kids not to parent? Here’s a novel idea, lets quit fronting, stop getting married if you don’t plan to stay faithful. Don’t have kids if you’re not willing to sacrifice every last bit of yourself for your progeny, honestly that’s man work. Don’t come to me thinking you’ll get anything other than contempt if you arent doing the hard stuff, and whats hard is self control. I tend to think that the things our parents (at least at home) aimed for was the ideal, Kids a happy marriage etc, didn’t always happen and sometimes things did go very wrong but at least they were working to an ideal of a better life. I wonder if we are working towards any ideal at all or I missed that crucial memo telling me the ideal has changed. Anyway I need to head out maybe I’ll get some chips funga on the way.
2 comments:
Instead of these soaps mimicking society, they now define society. When things get tough in a relationship(as they always do), people would rather seek escape rather than face up their issues. Passion is confused with love and every 20 something woman now wants an Alejandro who only exist in a scriptwriter's vivid imagination. Marriage is no longer a lifetime affair but has turned to some form of russian roulette. I despair for our generation.
I think the problem lies in the fact that Kenya is stuck in very deadly state of media hypnotism. The new generation cannot simply stand the ways of their forefathers (in my case, no way in hell am I agreeing to an arranged marriage), but have no clue what to do once they leave the old ways. So in comes The Bold and The Beautiful, crappy Spanish plays and what not to save the day! Monkey see monkey do. There was a column in the Standard two months back, Can't remember what it was but the issue was how to help failing relationship, the self help guru asked one of the female participants what men should do to better a relationship. She said " they should be like Alejandro! We should "train" them to be like Alejandro", So that's a case in point for you. We don't like the old ways, and our guide to he new ways are simply terrible (and fictional by the way).
Post a Comment